Triumphant Return

Where did they go? What happened? Where has my favorite source of cynicism and irony masking deep seeded mental instabilities disappeared to?

These are all excellent questions that I just made up to appear relevant and missed. I will now completely dive into my delusions of grandeur and answer said questions.

The past few years has been spent taking multiple detours in life that have included but are not limited to

Geriatric Roommates

Stereo Repair

Crippling Depression

Mildly Inconvenient but Fairly Manageable Depression

Finding Dead Bodies in Apartments

University Courses

Best Friends Randomly Moving to Florida

Best Friends Randomly Moving to California

Finding Dead Bodies in Apartments

Getting the Flu

etc.

Now let’s see if we can get this party started. Well, not right now, because I have to go drink heavily, sacrifice a goat, learn to make friends, and install a puppet dictator in some random South American country. Apparently those are the most popular tips on how to restart an online magazine, according to Reddit, Facebook, and Paul the homeless guy who always manages to make it seem like giving him two cigarettes is a good deal for me.

 

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