Okay, so I’ve been dreading this for awhile now, not because of the content, that’s all there. The subject, Sean Adamz, I’m not so sure if he’s all there. The man is definitely intelligent, he’s most certainly talented, but he’s also quite possibly one of the most insane individuals I’ve ever spoken to, not like lather your balls in peanut butter and stroll to Walgreens insane, well maybe, but sees the world then distorts it. Also, he barely uses punctuation, so this was a bitch to transcribe.
Info-About Sean, from the man himself:
(Skip past this if you don’t care about Sean’s impressive career and you just want to here him say funny things.)
I played in a rock band called Psy-Ops. and was a professional musician for 15 years. I’ve studied Dada and Situationalism and have been an artist my entire life. Then I started an art gallery and art collective in Philly in 2004 called Lazertown Art Collective. Lazerbunny was born from doing photoshoots of hot sluts and groupies after hours at the gallery space. I discovered Stoya and we launched lazerbunny, then I signed the first Transsexual model in “AltPorn” My company has been nominated for major industry awards such as XBiz Awards for outstanding achievements in business. Our company and models have also been nominated for XBiz Awards, Exxxotica Pageant Contestants and various other Adult Industry Awards. We are partnered with another major adult company based in Philadelphia called HotMovies the #1 largest video on demand site in the world. We have a live web cam sex / model site at evilcamlive.com Our main site is AltpornNetwork.com and our merchandise and fine art site is located at super-modern.com we represent various contemporary deviant artist and also own a large collection of master works from deviant artist and dada, abstract and surrealist artist such as Dali, Miro, and hundreds of other artist from the late 1800’s through now with emphasis upon the Industrial Era.
If that’s too long for you, Sean started one of the premiere alt-porn sites, Lazerbunny, a few years back. He went on to be nominated for a bunch awards. His main site now is Altpornnetwork.com and you should definitely check out the fine art over at super-modern.com.
Now for things said out of context:
Sean: Im so confused right now. Are we going to japan? Does Pfef Parry (Art Director at APN) have sex with tentacles in her spare time? Does Sean Adamz wear women’s unmentionables? Is Karaoke a sport? WHAS HAPPENING HERE…Im under viewing your inner view from the outside looking in…
LG: I’ve seen your underviews, there usually a bit more risque.
Sean: I read that “Ive seen your underooos”, GOD I MISS MY UNDEROOS. I want that level of responsibility again.
LG: I’ll need a picture of you in underoos for the header
Sean: No one wants to see that Cameron. No one.
LG: I’m tired of your conformist ideals on what people want to see, I’m announcing the Alt Alt porn Network, All Sean, All Underoos.
Pfef: How could that not be successful?
Sean: I had some psycho stalker guy actually take some photos of me, super impose them over a bunch of gay porn and write with ms word’s paint tool LAZERBOYZ across the top. Then he went out and bought my domain name seanadamz.com. Then, 3 years later, he gets arrested for trying to pay a porn performer in a hotel with a bad check.
Some banter occurs about tentacles, and other things then some how this sentence happened.
Sean: Have you seen pictures of my balls Pfef? They’re fucking HUGE.
LG: We know, you developed a site around the idea of showcasing said balls.
Pfef: “I draw my boss’ dick: The Pfef Parry Story”
Sean: I prefer cock. OR IM OUT AND THIS WHOLE THING IS OFF.
If that was the end of the interview my life would be so much easier, sadly, it was not.
Sean: Sorry, I was watching inner city cat fights on World Star Hip Hop, just now. I just took 14 valuum and drank a 5th of whisky, I’m ok now.
LG: Sean do you have a job? Or is it basically just drugs and making pfef draw genitals?
Sean: I guess you dont know what CEO means? Do you watch the news?… (I question whether or not he does anything) I DO THINGS! shoot at things with guns, valuum, whisky , mispell words, get girls to spread their ass cheeks more. sleep. eat steaks. There’s more, but I can’t remember them anymore. Maybe our GM or my Agent remembers.
LG: This is like the Charlie Manson interview with Diane Sawyer, Sean Adamz porn’s Charlie Manson.
Sean: I prefer Kool Keith over Charie, he’s blacker and has more soul.
More banter about how much Sean sucks to interview, and I reference his original reluctance to the idea.
Sean: It’s hard to walk on a wall , bang a blonde with an unruly HUGE ass , find tiny tits on the other side of that HUGE ass ,and be under viewed at the same time.
Pfef: This is actually what our art direction meetings are like.
Sean exits with this line: Im working now! Analyzing michael jackson instrumentals from the mid 80’s to apply marketing techniques through socio political tonal response to advertisements in american culture. http://youtu.be/QrQDkmvK9rI
A couple days pass and all is well in my life, until I decide to finish the “interview”
Sean: I remember when you said ” Its 1922 Sean noone cares anymore.” Remember that time? good times man, good times. You dressed nicer then, whats happened to you? You’re really letting yourself go man, no more hankerchief? No more polka dot bow tie. WTF
LG: 1922 was entirely different for me and you, I got the same white shirt and suspenders that every other black guy got. Do you even watch Ken Burns?
Sean: Sure don’t, (I) hate that guy and his stupid cinematic effects. I prefer watching porno. Cut, and hard cut. and cut. Go swim in the pool and open your eyes if you want everything all floaty and shit or whatever or take like 14 hits of LSD, LIKE A REAL MAN.
LG: That’s too much LSD.
Sean: This is why youre still a boy scout Cameron. You have to take 14 hits of lsd and go to Disney World in today’s world, to be a man. Ronald Reagen said so. ITS REGANOMICS MAN. Who the hell argues with that? The days of hanging yourself from hooks, from a tree are over. NO TREES MAN, thats done.
I thought that Sean was referencing lynching but apparently he was talking about tribal practices of self mutilation. Which led to…
Sean: I prefer my black girlfriends be married to each other. Do you realize how much ASS that is?
LG: I cannot fathom the ass.
Sean: Did you know that the younger generation refers to their ass as their “monkey” true story.
That’s where I’m going to end it, one day, when I’m clawing at cushioned walls from the experience that was speaking to Sean, I’ll tell the rest. All I can say is that I’ve never met or spoken to anyone who even closely resembles Sean’s personality. It was for me, the most fun I’ve had doing an “interview”. Feel free to check out all of his porny stuff, but I urge you to visit Super-modern.com, there is a lot of great stuff on there and if you buy enough and say I sold it to you, he might give me money of free things.
Also, look for a much more lucid interview with Pfef in the near future.